34 ways Orochimaru uses his tongue
by weirdest1
Summary: Despite the title this fic is FUNNY NOT NASTY! So read and you will see what I mean....


**_34 ways Orochimaru uses his Tongue_**

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**WARNING** this is a crack fic fueled by a cookie….a giant cookie….like the size of a pizza. And it is kinda **rated T for about 3 sentences but the rest is** **FUNNY not NASTY!**

**Liz** (aka animedragongirl): You know I'm mad at you….I typed this all and then you deleted it… STUPID KELLY! -whacks on the head with her fan-

**Kelly **(aka weirdest1): Hey I gave you that fan I can take it back again! and since I'm the one that deleted it I'm TYPING IT ALL OVER AGAIN!

**Andy-chan:** YAY!

**Katie **(aka Haku Shinobi Hunter): why are you so happy?

**Andy-chan:** I don't know……but I CANT BREATHE THIS FIC IS SO FUNNY!

-hyperventilates-

**Katie:** Umm Kelly…..I think she passed out….

**Kelly:** ANDY-CHAN MY TWIN! SPEAK TO ME!

**Andy-chan:** Orochimaru's tongue is SO FUNNNY!

**Liz**: I think we have established that……

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34 ways Orochimaru uses his tongue 

1. To lick his elbow

2. To pick the lint out of his bellybutton…..

3. To pick his nose

4. Kabuto….. Dark unoccupied room …. Those of you with your minds in the gutter ….Fill in the blanks

5.. To scare the pizza guy

6.. As an ultimate defense….like Gaara's but way freakier

7.. To turn on and off lamps…..

8. To get the remote without getting up…

9.. To help Sasuke stir his muffins of DOOM! His next body really needs to cut down on the calories….but the muffins rarely ever get consumed…..since they have a tendency to explode.

**Kabuto**: I have tested that one myself...who knew a muffin could hurt SO MUCH!

-runs away crying-

10. To protect Kabuto from said muffins...whike geting in a good makeout session

11 Did you know that having an extra long tongue helps your singing voice?

12 To Freak Jiraya out and to give Tsunade a reason to pulverize him back when they were a 3 man cell….(that was a long time ago)

13. Thought the official reason Orochimaru didn't get the position of the 4th hokage was because he was torturing and killing people…. secretly everybody knew it was his tongue

**Orochimaru:** Thanks tongue ….thanks a lot….

**Tongue:** Hey you're the one that changed me….

14. To eat 1 whole bucket of fried chicken!

15. To hold things behind his back that people never want again after they find out where the tongue has been….

16 To annoy Itachi…..

17 To swing from trees…. Like a monkey's tail…

**Liz** Stupid monkeys...

**Andy-chan** I LIKE MONKEYS!

18. To ineffectively clean the dishes….

19. To eat 5 pizzas whole…. the box and everything……

20. To kiss his significant other while looking at the back of his head...

21. To clean the toejam from between his toes...

22. In the winter time he can use it as a scarf

23.. He could be an honorary member of the band KISS

**Orochimaru:** I am an honorary member...see

-holds up card-

**Andy-chan **SO SHINNNY!

24. He could type with it...but after that the keyboard would have to be burned...

25. To answer his Hello Kitty cellphone with it while he is fighting Sasuke's muffins...

26. MOO!

**Andy-chan:** but thats not a reason...

**Kelly**: who cares?

**Liz:** MOOOOO!

27. To make random and weird noises...

28 To make andy-chan pass out...

-Andy-chan laughs hypervetilates and then passes out-

**Katie**: See what did we tell you...

29. To reach stuff in high places that would take mormal people hours and a very looooong ladder

30. To smash his alarm clock...

31. To tie the perfect bow on a present...not that he gives any...

32. To amuse a child whike hes trying to take a picture of it...

**Kelly:** Not that he would... because he kinda freaks kids out...

**Orochimaru**: I DO NOT!

**Katie**: you have a 24 foot tongue (number not fact...)

**Liz**: You look like a girl

**Andy-chan**: you wear this big purple bow thing...

**Orochimaru:** I GET IT! I'M NOT GOOD WITH KIDS!

**Katie:** no...you make little kids

**Kelly**: and grown men

**Katie:** cry

**Liz:** CAN WE GET ON WITH THE LIST!

34. To take off his shoes with it...

35...and i'm out of reasons...

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A/n Thank you to Liz, Andrea, Katie, and Gaara's Sand Babe ( i know her name but I'm not going to say it) For without you guys this fic would not be here... 

**Liz**: like thats a bad thing...

Anyways there was supposed to be 40 reasons... but I got bored...and I might add more ... that is if i want to...


End file.
